Saturday, November 29, 2008

Happy Holidays




Yo, Mick here. Yup, I'm the canine with a candy-cane scarf.

Mum's learned a lot about the challenges autism brings to the holidays.

No matter your celebration (there seems to be at lest one for everyone and more for others) the disruption to the routines, different foods, people interacting and expecting to be interacted with (especially the expectations) whew! the whole tamale can be a real stress without adding in the autism factor.

How exactly does a family factor autism into a happy holiday?

Plan for it of course!

This was the subject of a recent autism support group meeting that Mum went to.

There were all types of suggestions and confessions from families. (They laugh a lot at those meetings and Mum always comes in renewed but that's a different story - check out a meeting sometime if you get the chance, discovering other families and hearing other autism stories really renews the spirit).

Here's what Mum got out of the meeting:

The real success or distress of the holiday season seems to come down to the expectations of everyone involved.

What do you expect the holidays to be?

Remember, if you're looking for trouble its already upon you. If you're stressed out - those wonders on the autism spectrum have a way of picking up on that and returning it ten fold (at the least)!

Be the canine of peace!

According to Mum, those families who have altered their celebration style so that it embraces their child's autism do more than cope during the holidays, they have found ways to enjoy them.

En-Joy! get it? Flow into Joy!

They have created Happy Holidays!

What does that mean?

They have modified their expectations without compromising their beliefs in family and Love.

Here’re some tips to get you thinking about your family dynamics:

* Don't try to do everything; instead, pick and choose the activities based upon your past experiences or "gut" feelings -
Doing less creates more for all

* Do not attempt to take your daughter with autism to her sister's choir performance if she can not handle the sound of a group singing, sitting on bleachers or other environmental factors or if choirs just freak her out

* Do not force your son with autism to wear the clothes Grandmother brought for him if he truly can't stand the fiber they're made from

* Now is not the time to begin one of those diets that restrict sugar or flour if you are planning to to go to 9 parties this season (have a plan if you are already on one of those diets if you do go to holiday parties and don't expect the host or hostess to know or meet your needs!)

* Do practice manners and personal hygiene - as a family

* Do what makes you feel good about your family – celebrate with joy!

* Do give yourself permission to pick and choose your family's activities - without any guilt

* Do keep your expectations realistic and fun for everyone - remember its a Happy Holiday!

I don't know why but the humans can really let their expectations muck up an otherwise fun event or season – be Joyful, be fun, be Happy, be about the Love of the season.

Staying home and baking doggy biscuits (or cookies) with the whole family works for a very happy holiday memory!

Peace on and blessings for a safe and Happy Holiday Season.

Friday, November 28, 2008

Choice of Thanksgiving


Yo. Mick here, the cute one with the ball in my mouth!

Happy Thanksgiving.

I am thankful for Autism.

Here’s what I mean…
Did you eat enough for 2 or more? I sure hope so because I got zipo – nadda – nadda darn bite.

I hounded and hounded (of course puns are intended – why waste them?) the cooks in the kitchen but they were stingy with the treats.

I was as snoopy as possible but we were at my Uncle’s and Aunt’s home and I’m not allowed into the kitchen (don’t look I’m seriously showing my puppy dog face – which I did most of yesterday to no avail!).

Turkey!


With all of the trimmings and not the first nibble!


If I’d been in my own home I’d have had the works except pumpkin pie; it gives me gas.


Mum was busy washing dishes, cooking, talking to my sister on the computer and hanging with the family. To say she was distracted is an understatement.


And she’s back!
Mum took one look at my long face this morning and fixed me up a wonderful helping. I was drooling before she even set the dish down. I think it tasted even better than it must have yesterday!

I can’t be upset with being at my cousins’ home though, even if I am treated as less than the family member I am; I get to play with other canines!

My aunt brings Lucky, a Great Dane. Next-door is Foster, one of my Australian Shepard friends. All 3 of us with another carload of cousins and parents went to the park to play Soccer and chase balls.


Life just doesn’t get much better than that.

So even though the turkey and trimmings were slow to arrive, I have plenty to be thankful for.
Life’s full of choices and being thankful is just a matter of choice, even without all the trimmings.

What does Thanksgiving have to do with Autism or vise versa?

Focus.

We can focus on the challenges of autism or we can focus on the gifts of autism.

We have the choice of what to be thankful for.

I could have focused on the lack of Thanksgiving treats in my dish but where’s the fun in that?

Choosing to focus on the joy of family gives me so much more happiness. Likewise, focusing on the gifts of autism brings all of us so much more of everything good.


Mum’s a much more patient person than she once was and I am a much happier canine because autism and my boy give me purpose.
My boy loves me in a unique way that wouldn’t be the same without autism. I am unique and constantly growing in ways I never would have if autism were not a part of my life.

My boy, Red is growing as a person with autism.

People and canines alike are influenced with Red’s autism. And there are close to 1:100 boys with autism! That’s huge! Autism is ginormous!


Yes, there are challenges that we all perceive with autism that are very real and yes, life would be simpler (maybe) without autism, but would we be any happier?
Would we be the same soul without autism in our lives?

Red was goalie in the soccer game with no final score on Thanksgiving Day. We were surrounded with family and love. Autism was there too but instead of taking away from the experience, autism contributed to it. Autism helped us all grow.


What we focus on is a choice.


We can focus on missing the family who were at other places or who have moved away from our table or we can enjoy the ones we’re with (There’s a song there somewhere).
Autism can be a banquet with rich trimmings or it can be worse than no leftovers or nibbles.

The choices are ours.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Autism Unemployment Statistic


Scary Autism Unemployment Statistic

Yo. Mick here. I'm the handsome canine in the backseat.

Mum went to an autism conference this past week as her school site representative and one night as a family member. Both lectures were sponsored by SELPA and both had the same presenter, Barbara Bloomfield.

Mum says Barbra Bloomfield is an excellent speaker and would go to see her again and recommends her to others. Barbara has some really helpful suggestions and ideas. There was however one tiny statistic that has Mum really upset.

“The unemployment rate for people with autism is 75% – 97% with the people on the higher end of ASD being the most unemployed”.

Oh my! That's my boy they're lumping into those numbers!

More bad news, of those employed, people with autism are the most under employed as a group. Meaning they earn and work in jobs far below their job skill levels.


I shudder and shake worse than a case of fleas over the terrors of our kids with autism.

I am horrified by the possibility my boy will become an unemployment statistic or find work that doesn’t showcase his abilities.


But I know Mum and she wont let that happen!


So here’s Mum to tell us some more about autism and unemployment based on what she learned. I'm gonna hang in the backseat for this one.


Hey all. Mum Irene here.

What do you think are the employment breaking issues employers give about employees with autism?

• The ability to work independently
• Social Communication
• Planning and organizing skills
• Daily living skills – particularly in the areas of hygiene, grooming, and dress
(The bullets taken directly from the notes of Barbara Bloomfield)

Bloomfield asks the question, “When do we begin to teach to these issues”?


The answer is of course, As soon as possible! ASAP! NOW!


I know!

You feel like another huge burden has just been dropped on your already rocky plate.

I know that feeling very well myself. Take a breath and let’s look at the new scary mess that’s just landed. Plop. Breath out!


Take another breath in - - - - - and out.

Now breath normal (grin).


Absolutely none of these issues are new – they’re already on our plates, they’ve just surfaced to the top as a new way to consider the importance of why we do what we do.


Are you breathing again?


Consider these issues to help focus your efforts on a clear outcome (that being your son or daughter gainfully employed in work that uses their highest skills and has meaning for them).


OK. That’s all well and good but am I doing what I can for my child? Is what I’m doing effective?


I’m sure you are doing what you can and we’ll review some of these things in the next several postings.

As you have learned by now, autism in the family requires a lot of blind faith. Hold your faith and you and your child will be just fine.
Know this too.

You are capable.

We know what our children need (their strengths and deficiencies) and we know their learning styles and motivators – this information is a huge plus.


You are the expert of your child; as Dr. Attwood has said in lecture, “You have a PhD in your son or daughter”. (if you don't know Dr. Attwood he's awesome with asperger and high-functioning autism people)

Embrace your expertise and faith; these will serve you and your family well with the autism experience. Keep your sights on the goal, focus on the joyous aspects of autism and the rewards along the journey.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

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