Autism Crush – Part 1

Autism Crush – Part 1

Yo! Mick here (pictured at the top of this blog with my boy). I'm a very handsome red-headed Queensland Heeler - a Canine if you will, and I'm here to tell you adventures about raising my brother, Red. Red lives with autism...

Red was in band camp again for the 2 weeks before school started. Red loves it! Last year he met a former student who assisted the freshman with getting their marching feet. Although he didn’t know it, Red developed a crush on her.

And I must say, she is a really great person – inside and out. She’s also a great musician and marcher and...

Well, I can totally understand why Red likes her.

Sadly, she eventually had to go off to college last year but because she has a brother still in school, she made trips back as frequently as possible. Red would just glow in happiness whenever she came around.

When there was a band event, Red would perk up a bit, pay extra attention to dressing up and the details of getting his hair just right on the off chance the object of his attention would make an appearance. He really tried hard to impress her. Even Red’s college choices seemed based upon being near her. He, of course, wanted to attend the same college!

Mum and his teachers at school would sometimes use Red’s interest as a carrot saying things like, “you know, to get into college you have to do your homework”, or whatever.

This graduated band member has been a great motivator. Kids with autism tend to need great motivators and teachers and mums know how to get creative in using them.

All during band camp this summer Red went in the hopes of seeing her. And when she came, Red lit up like a pup with a mouth full of double cheeseburger with bacon.

On the very last day of camp the band kids perform what they have learned for their parents. This is followed by an invitation for the family members to join the students on the field and to keep up with them as they march (without the instruments for safety reasons).

Let me tell you, it’s a lot harder than it looks!!!

Red was so busy keeping his eyes on the object of his crush he just about pulled Mum into the tubas.

The moment the music ended he was off to hook up with her and sit at the same table. He even ate pizza to impress her and Red does not eat pizza typically (except at his dad’s but that’s a different story)

(To be continued in The Crush Part 2)

Marching Back to School in Tune with Autism

photo taken by Sarah Andrade - family friend

Band camp concluded yesterday and the band had their first paid performance tonight. Wow - they have hit the ground running. Practices 2 nights a week, performing for every home football game, several marching competitions and school. Band is a definite investment of time and effort but bonding with friends is well worth it.

School starts on Monday. I'm not ready but Red is. I'm as ready as I can be - it just never feels like I can be totally prepared. In past years I have put together a letter of introduction for Red's teachers. OASIS once had a letter that could be tailored to the student but now has a few checklists and lots of other information that can help families and educators with students on the autism spectrum.

My experience is that teachers quite reading the letter in junior high, just when I was wanting a way to expedite getting the information to all of Red's teachers. One year I even sent in a short Power Point. It wasn't until the end of the year that a couple of his teachers even looked at it. Which is probably why the letter has been reduced to a checklist.

Looking back over the years of letters is one way to acknowledge Red's increasing abilities. Sure, it seems like every new level of accomplishment brings with it fresh challenges but I can track progress on his own chart. That's not to say that there aren't those times where he goes forward a few steps only to step back a couple now and again. Red has his own dance steps that's for sure.

What band camp has given Red is an ability to march in tune and step forward with an entire band. He's not off on the sideline or stepping to a tune no one can hear but him. He belongs. Red, in turn, plays his heart out for the band and his buddies.

Marching with the Band to the Beat of Autism

Hey, Mum here.

Red plays the baritone in the high school marching band. I am so thankful that he's found a group of people to hang out with this fall doing something that brings him great pleasure - Music.

Band camp has really been instrumental (grin!) in transitioning Red to the high school.

He's leaving a junior high school with close to 800 students and going to a HS school with over 2000! I was overwhelmed picking up his schedule and books, I can't imagine how Red's going to feel on Monday when classes begin.

Kids with autism typically don't transition or accept changes very well. Many though will also stress and feel overly anxious with too much advanced warning about changes or transitions so parents can find themselves in a position of weighing when to tell and how much to tell.

I was in that position regarding Red's inoculations. At the time, I didn't tell him in advance because I knew just he'd react with a lot of anxiety and be totally stressed out. And I was right.

Band has helped ease the typical transition to high school a lot! I am so amazed. Red has had no problem getting up early and spending a long day (8-5:30!) learning new music and marches and meeting fellow band members.

Red's ready for his classes to begin. I'm not so ready. Red will need to learn the layout of his new campus, find "safe" areas to hang out, contend with kids who are comparatively huge, learn how to open and use a locker, and he's not going to be crazy about all of his classes.

The past several years Red has been mainstreamed into regular education classes for most of his day. Last year he had a lower level math class and a resource language arts class. He hates math regardless and felt the resource language arts class was below him.

Sure, for spelling it was. The kid out-spells me! As long as Red is permitted to copy the spelling words from a book and not "guess" during a pretest. Pretests cause him to memorize the word incorrectly so I've added to his IEP, "no pre-spelling tests". Yes, I do resort to micromanaging when necessary.

Red just doesn't test well for reading comprehension. He may understand more that we know but even if we're all off a bit, he needs help in reading.

Also I chose to get proactive even before classes started. I pull Red from his assigned math class because I heard from 4 different sources that that the teacher is a "yeller" (and why is this person a teacher?). That would just upset Red and would be no way to begin his day.

The other teacher who taught the level of Math Red needs only has one section and its during band. So, he's now in a remedial level math, an SDC math class. It is my hope that the teacher can create a math program that helps him learn his math facts and also helps prepare him for the exit exam.

Sigh. There are many executive decisions and things to consider when raising a special kid with autism. Parents truly need to be active advocates and very diligent in their children's education and assessing their needs. A balance between smothering or codling with helping them grow and mature is not easy to achieve.

So, ready or not, classes begin on Monday. I'm not telling Red about the math class decisions I've made. I'm saying nothing about the resource language arts class. Nope. Mum's the word because when it comes to Red, Mum knows best. (I hope! Please don't backfire!).

Thank goodness for the things I can predict and positive influences in my son's life like Music, Band, and Band Camp!

Band Camp Blues

Hey, Mick here. You know, Red's tail waggin', wet-nosed four legged brother?

Red began band camp this week (this is Red from last year). I'm trying to be happy for him (but he looks about how I feel). I mean, he's off meeting new High School buddies, getting to march and play his baritone and band is way cool but I'm mostly stuck at home by myself.

Mum's real happy about the band camp too. Band kids are generally good kids and it is important for Red to have some solid friendships because there are a lot of people who go to Red's school and some of them are pretty tough.

Band kids tend to stick together, eating and hanging out during lunch and breaks. The friends that Red is making this week and next before school starts up will really be helpful, so don't mind my sulkiness. I just feel like a lost puppy when my boy's gone.

Red does this incredible thing though. He takes me along in his imagination. I play the french horn and get to march and so much more. I'm playing first chair and I'm squad leader. My friend Louie also plays.

Red had a really awesome week! He met up with some of his band friends from Junior High and his mentor from HS has introduced him to more new friends. Every day he'd come home full of these great stories about his new experiences.

I believe this is going to be a really powerful year for Red, he's off to a great beginning.

I also know where I stand. Rather than going to the pizza and pool party on Friday, Red chose to come home so we could have some down time - just the two of us. We both needed to unwind and just be.