Bullies beware! We've Got Red's Back!

Yo, Mick here. The handsome one with the blue eyes and no bandanna.

I'm still worried about the bullies at school. If I'm still worried, I can't imagine how Red must feel. To watch him though, its like someone has wiped his heart clean of the memories.

He jumps out of bed, races to get ready and flies out the door for another day of school. He loves band, and Video, is not too keen on math and enjoys meeting up with his friends.

I don't know if I could do that. I mean, I'm still wiggling mad about those bullies harming my boy!

Do you have any ideas why the bullies torment others? For years now bullies have been considered just another victim themselves who suffer from low self esteem. Ha! I mean have you actually seen bullies in action? Do you know any bullies?

Low self-esteem my flea bite!

New research shows that bullies are more likely to have typical self-esteem and maybe even border on fluffed up self-esteems. Coddling the bully and building them up just results in rewarding them with more attention.

I'd like to see bullies taken down some ego pegs!

The school where Red goes has agreed to continue the program set up last year. It is designed with the ultimate goal of improving school climate and providing a safe place for everyone.

The plan is that Red, his SCIA, teachers or other adults when they hear of or witness a bully event they report it and the student is brought in and informed that what they did was bullying. The student is then put on alert that they will be monitored. A record of the event and conversation is placed in their permanent file so that everyone knows the student has been informed.

Any further bullying incidences then have a series of consequences including detention and suspension. All incidences and consequences are documented.

I have my doubts, but things were starting to improve a bit by the end of the school term this last year. Although some of the bullies just enlisted others to "moo" at the kid with the wild red hair.

Beginning early may help - maybe.

Whatever, Mum and I are here for Red and he knows it! Red also has several teachers and other school support staff and especially his SCIA. We ALL have his back and so do several of his friends at school.

A Bully Kicked My 2 Legged Puppy

Same Old Bullies - Again

Yo, Mick here. I'm the one without opposing thumbs - I'm not really opposed to much except meanness and deliberate harm. Red has had a challenging 2nd week of school because of bullies. The same ones from last year with a few new recruits.

Red came bursting through our backdoor Thursday so distraught he practically fell over me waiting for him. He collapsed on the couch. I jumped up on top of him to give him slurpies (I'm not yet a trained therapy dog but I know what works on my boy) and he wrapped me in his arms and rolled to his side holding me in a tight ball.

My boy takes on too much!

Red didn't cry at all, he's maturing. After a few minutes Red told me he'd tried to not react when the fat boy in the black T-shirt said, "Cows Moooo.", but that he couldn't help it, he'd already been "moooed" at a few other times that day.

How can humans be so cruel to one another? 

It breaks my heart to see humans kicking any puppy, even one with only 2 legs. From Red's perspective, with his sensory issues and autism, "moooing" is the same as deliberately kicking - and the bullies know this! 

Adjusting to Back to school with Autism and ADHD

Yo! Mick here.

The first week or so back to school is typically filled with adjustments for any child or family. For a student on the autism spectrum and their family there are even more adjustments and these can create some intense reactions or require some fairly extreme planning.

Adjustments may include:

• Back to school rituals for the student
  
• Family routines are shifted - again
• Getting up earlier than in the summer and going to bed earlier
• New schools (may be same or different school districts or different schools as in transitioning to middle school or high school)
• New teacher or teachers
• Meeting new friends
• Reacquainted with the bullies
• Switching to school or fall clothes from play or summer clothes
• Wearing shoes (with socks) and learning to tie them
  
• Homework
• Less time for preferred activities
• Less time with favorite pets or people (my biggest pet peeve! grin - thump, thump!)
  
• Returning to or adjusting medication doses
• Classroom rules may be different
• Higher expectations for the student and the student may have higher expectations of others or themselves (even unrealistic expectations?)
• Expectations which are too low
  
• Paperwork demands
• Learning new skills in and out of classroom
• Sports or other activities such as band

This list seems to go on and on. Going back to school is quite an adjustment for me too - I seem to have a compulsion to slurp from the garbage can. I just can't help myself. I am that pathetically bored. Sometimes I'll wait for Red on the couch but hey, I can only do that for so long.

Marching Back to School in Tune with Autism

photo taken by Sarah Andrade - family friend

Band camp concluded yesterday and the band had their first paid performance tonight. Wow - they have hit the ground running. Practices 2 nights a week, performing for every home football game, several marching competitions and school. Band is a definite investment of time and effort but bonding with friends is well worth it.

School starts on Monday. I'm not ready but Red is. I'm as ready as I can be - it just never feels like I can be totally prepared. In past years I have put together a letter of introduction for Red's teachers. OASIS once had a letter that could be tailored to the student but now has a few checklists and lots of other information that can help families and educators with students on the autism spectrum.

My experience is that teachers quite reading the letter in junior high, just when I was wanting a way to expedite getting the information to all of Red's teachers. One year I even sent in a short Power Point. It wasn't until the end of the year that a couple of his teachers even looked at it. Which is probably why the letter has been reduced to a checklist.

Looking back over the years of letters is one way to acknowledge Red's increasing abilities. Sure, it seems like every new level of accomplishment brings with it fresh challenges but I can track progress on his own chart. That's not to say that there aren't those times where he goes forward a few steps only to step back a couple now and again. Red has his own dance steps that's for sure.

What band camp has given Red is an ability to march in tune and step forward with an entire band. He's not off on the sideline or stepping to a tune no one can hear but him. He belongs. Red, in turn, plays his heart out for the band and his buddies.